


I Don't Wanna Be Left Alone

by stevebucke



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Ficlet, Gen, Happy, M/M, Mild Angst, Nightmares, No Sex, Panic Attacks, Previous Relationship, ish, sorry i had to add that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-27 02:24:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1711532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stevebucke/pseuds/stevebucke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short Steve/Bucky fic; based off of a one line prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Wanna Be Left Alone

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by a prompt [this lovely person](http://nymphaedus.tumblr.com) sent me! original post is [here](http://piehole.co.vu/post/87176395255/steve-x-bucky-and-the-line-i-dont-wanna-be-left).

"I don’t wanna be left alone."

Steve stops just as he reaches his hand towards the doorknob and turns back around to look at Bucky, who is sitting on the cot they set up in the living room when Steve first found him, rocking and mumbling incoherently on the floor of the apartment’s bedroom.

(He crept in silently and sat on the floor next to Bucky, trying not to startle him. They sat like that for hours until Bucky stopped sobbing and Steve put his arms around him, whispering quiet reassurances into his ear. Everything will be okay, it’s fine, I love you, we’re gonna make it.)

Bucky looks up at him.

"Hey, Buck, talk to me." Steve pulls away from the door and walks back over to the cot, taking a seat near Bucky.

(But leaving enough space between the two of them so that he could escape if he felt threatened, and that Steve didn’t push his presence onto him. Sam taught Steve well. In fact, Sam was quickly becoming Steve’s only life outside of Bucky; hasty meetings in the evenings at Sam’s apartment, the occasional chat during the day when Bucky had fled, triggered by some memory or action of Steve’s. Those days were the worst. But at least he came back. He always came back.)

"I don’t want you to leave," Bucky whispers, staring at his hands. One metal, one flesh; one a reminder of the deaths he’d caused, the other of the life he led with Steve - his best friend, his lover, his soulmate. His enemy, his mission, his ultimate failure.

(Most nights were spent with Steve propped up on the pillows of his bed, watching Bucky shake and whimper and sometimes scream. Only once had his name come up, strangled and louder than anything Steve had ever heard Bucky cry out in his sleep.)

Steve sighs and cuffs Bucky on the shoulder. “You know I wouldn’t leave if I didn’t have to. You can come, if you want…” He trails off, uncertain of how to indicate to Bucky that he really thinks it would be a good idea to start getting out of the apartment.

(It’s been a month since Bucky showed up. Aside from the occasional secret rendezvous with Sam or terrorized fleeing, no one has left the apartment. Groceries are mysteriously delivered right to their front door; if he waits by the window long enough, Steve sometimes catches a glimpse of red hair entering an important-looking government vehicle. Once, he thought he saw someone wave to him out the window of the car.)

Bucky turns to look at Steve, a confused look flashing across his eyes. After taking a moment to process this, he shakes his head vehemently, clenching his metal fist. “Not…”

"Not what? If you’re not ready I don’t have to go. I just thought it would be…nice to get out. Not that we have to," he quickly assures Bucky, placing his hand on his knee and drawing it back even more quickly as he remembers his reaction to the suggestion.

(Steve has his own fair share of nightmares, only there isn’t anyone there to watch over him as he screams and writhes in his sleep. Sometimes he gets angry that things can’t be the way they used to; Bucky taking care of him instead of the other way around. He’s talked to Sam about this, but occasionally he has trouble even looking at Bucky without getting mad at him for things he can’t control.)

"Not ready." Bucky’s hand snakes out to capture Steve’s own, examining it before pressing it to his lips slowly. "I…remember. Before. We touched, a lot more than we do now. It was nice."

Steve laughs. “Yeah, we did,” he say simply, leaving it there for now.

Bucky places Steve’s hand back next to him and asks, “So what’s next?”

Steve smirks as Bucky gets up and moves over to the kitchen. 

"Tea?"

"Sure." And then, "I love you." It’s hardly even a whisper, but who are they fooling. Super soldier ears and all. If he tries hard enough, Steve can even convince himself that he heard another whisper coming from the kitchen. And maybe he did.

(Some days it’s hard. But on days like this, though they aren’t without their setbacks, Steve is optimistic. Things will get better.)

_Maybe I’ll invite Sam around next week_ , Steve thinks.


End file.
